Why I made the hard decision to get my tubes removed, what a salpingectomy is, and why it was crucial for me to consider not having anymore kids.
Hello everyone, once again. I’ve decided to go over a sort of touchy subject, as it’s hard to acknowledge the fact that I will never be able to become pregnant again. At first, I was 100% excited to never be pregnant again (I hate being pregnant for an abundance of reasons, one being the morning sickness I got both times and another is the low confidence I get as I become bigger.) but once it actually happens, and you really cannot, it kind of sucks. Especially only being 21 (and I always dreamed of having tons of children). So why did I make this decision?
Well, for starters, I’ll give you a little backstory of my pregnancies. My first son, Caspian, was born when I was just 18. It was a week before I turned 17 that I found out I was in fact, pregnant. At first, I was TERRIFIED. But the idea of a child grew on me and I was overcome with love and happiness and excitement. My pregnancy was healthy for a while. Despite the morning sickness all day and night up until the day I gave birth at 37 weeks pregnant. Around 35 weeks, I fell out of bed one night, and hit the dresser. It wasn’t that hard, honestly and I mostly just cried because I was startled and it scared me. The day after my mom and I went out and did a maternity photo shoot in my Star Wars Padme cosplay. But when we were there, I was experiencing cramps in which I just assumed was braxton hicks contractions. But as they progressed, I finally decided it’d be best to go to the ER just to see what’s up. So we go, and there they see that I am in fact having real contractions, which were causing Caspian’s heart rate and oxygen to dip pretty drastically every time. They monitored me in the hospital for a week, before deciding to let me go home and informed me I was to come to the triage every 2 days to get monitored for an hour. My first time going back, they admitted me once more, and also did a scan, noticing that there was a placental abruption. I was freaked out. But they wanted me to wait until I was exactly 37 weeks, so there I waited yet another week until they finally induced me at midnight and I gave birth around 7:40 am to my little bean. They proceeded to show me the abruption, while announcing how much larger it was than they had thought, so it was good he came out. But other than that, we had no other issues and Caspian is about to be 3 with still no health problems.
Now, my second pregnancy, as many of you know, took a completely different and drastic turn. Those months of being pregnant were the most terrifying time in my entire life. So let’s start from the beginning. I found out I was pregnant with my second son, Fox, in August of 2019, at 20 years old. And honestly, my fiancé (husband now) and I were actually pretty excited. Him being a first time dad, especially added to the thrill. But toward the end of August, a scary situation happened that I will never forget. One morning, I woke up, and went to the bathroom, only to notice blood. And I mean a SHIT TON of blood. Dark red blood. And I immediately began sobbing, thinking I was having a miscarriage. Now one thing many people do not know, is I had had a miscarriage prior to this very early on that really messed me up emotionally. So right away, Chris and I drove to the ER, frantically but trying to keep positive. We arrived, and at the time I was I think maybe 3 or so weeks pregnant? I can’t totally recall. So they get me into a room and take me to go get an ultrasound. After, I’m escorted back to the room where my then fiancé was and we waited. And waited. And waited. Until finally a doctor came in and informed me that there seemed to be a sack of something in there (I’m so sorry, I forgot what it was called but it was a ball of blood) and couldn’t detect any sign of a baby. So they called it a “threatened miscarriage”, and our hearts just broke. They had given me a number to an OB who wanted to see me in the office in exactly one week and wanted me to get bloodwork done in 3 days because the bloodwork could determine if my pregnancy was progressing. So after three terrible, nerve wrecking, heartbreaking days, I went to get my blood drawn and then 4 more days passed and I went to the OB’s office. I was immediately taken into the ultrasound room after meeting him, and as they scanned around for a little while, there it was. A little baby bean just chilling next to that gross weird sack of blood. It was the biggest weight lifted off my chest to see I was in fact not having a miscarriage. So from then, I continued to have routine checkups.
Now, fast forward to about a week into November. I was 21 weeks pregnant having my mid pregnancy scan, when the room was complete silence. I was alone, as my husband had to work, and I had been used to going to appointments by myself from my first pregnancy. After an hour of the ultrasound, the tech left the room, and came back insisting I go wait in my OB’s office so he can speak with me. And that’s when I knew there was something wrong. I never did that with Caspian and the vibe just felt- off. So I wait. And wait. And wait. For about 45 minutes as my OB had actually been performing a surgery. Once he was done, he came in and sat down. (My OB just an fyi is the most amazing man and I still to this day text him with questions I have and every time I see him, he always asks for pictures of Fox).he looked at me and informed me that my son had multiple anomalies, one including fluid on his brain (hydrocephalus), and what seemed to be some problems with his abdomen. He informed me as much as he could about Hydrocephalus, but this was now a more specialty doctors area, so he referred me to an MFM (maternal fetal medicine doctor). I had to wait until after Thanksgiving so for a few weeks I wondered so many things that just stressed me out majorly. I socially distanced myself (which we all seem to have to do now lol) from pretty much everyone except Chris. I was going through a lot of depression, more than I had before pregnancy, and I just felt lost and scared. So I go to my MFM doctor and they do a like, a 2 or something hour ultrasound, where they find and confirm hydrocephalus, but also duodenal atresia (his intestines weren’t connected) and some tiny holes in his heart (you may read about these things and what they mean on my other blog posts). So from then on I had bi-weekly appointments with my MFM to do ultrasounds and such. Eventually, they find that Fox’s thumbs are adducted (meaning they go in toward his palms, which is something he still struggles with and will probably need splints down the road).
Now adducted thumbs is an indication of X-Linked hydrocephalus (L1cam). This meaning, he got this from ME. Basically, x-linked is only in boys, and mothers/girls can be carriers of it. They asked if Cas had any disabilities and were shocked to find out no. But in short, it’s a 50/50 chance of any future sons I may have to have hydrocephalus as well. All the other issues this poor kids suffered from, well, we have NO IDEA where they came from!
Well, then a month after my wedding in December, Fox was born in January. But NOT because of him. Sadly, because my body was failing. I had to go in for Non-stress tests every week, and the first one I went to they noticed my blood pressure was SKYROCKETING. This was on Friday January 24, and I was only 28 and like 5 or 6 days pregnant. My ankles were swollen to shit, and they grew concerned that I may have developed preeclampsia. So here I was, being admitted where they planned to keep me until 34 weeks where they would take him out then (because oh, forgot to mention, two weeks prior they saw that my umbilical cord wasn’t transferring nutrients to him anymore and his abdomen wasn’t growing but his head still was and I had a LARGE amount of amniotic fluid build up in my body, hence why my 4’10, average of 115 lb ass was now weighing 157). So I’m admitted into the special care unit and then move to labor and delivery, as they gave me high blood pressure meds that calmed my body down.
Well then, Sunday comes around and I wake up around 1 am Monday to my nurse holding the monitor me and looking scared. I asked what’s happening, and my throat is rattling like crazy. Other nurses begin to rush in where they inform me that Fox’s levels are dipping because my body wasn’t doing well. Remind you, I was on percocets and loads of other medicines so I have a very hazy memory of most of this. But then they also discover fluid had developed on my lungs. And my preeclampsia basically could have killed me. So I call my husband, who’s at home with our animals and he rushes to the hospital, where they take me back into OR and put me completely to sleep, taking Fox out at 2 lbs & 3 oz at 29 weeks pregnant via emergency c-section, and then he ended up staying in NICU for 87 days, finally coming home April 23, 2020. They informed me that the only reason he had to come out because of me and my safety as they feared for my life.
After this, I was told that my chances of getting preeclampsia are high if I were to get pregnant again, and that could be life threatening to not only me, but the future baby’s life as well. But then the fear of me getting pregnant with yet another boy, and him having a very high chance of having hydrocephalus or other issues, it all just became clear to me. My body is not meant to have more kids again. On top of my Crohn’s Disease that hit me like a brick fucking wall after having Fox and being practically in remission my whole pregnancy, I knew I just couldn’t put myself through it again. But I also knew, there was no way I could handle life if something were to happen to a future baby of mine. After doctors advising me of my safety and my baby’s safety, and of constant discussions with my family, I knew the best choice would be to just be done with it. Because I know one day, when I want a child again, I will 100% adopt, as there are so many babies in this world who need homes and I have one to give.
Now, you’ve made it this far, don’t back out just yet! I’ve got some information for you.
Salpingectomy- what?!
So what the hell is that big word I just said? It’s a tubal removal, baby! If you only have a partial tubal removal, you have a slight chance of still getting pregnant, as 7.5 women out of 1,000 have still gotten pregnant. But if you have both tubes removed, you can only get pregnant through IVF. Even though there is a rare case of a woman getting pregnant without any tubes, which is crazy. But anyways, Salpingectomy is the surgical removal of one (unilateral) or both (bilateral) fallopian tubes. Fallopian tubes allow eggs to travel from the ovaries to the uterus. A partial salpingectomy is when you have only part of a fallopian tube removed. http://healthline.com
I found out about this procedure, which is an alternative to getting your tubes tied, by my OB who prefers this method compared to getting your tubes tied. So instead of going in and burning the tubes (or whatever they do these days) he goes in, for me laparoscopically, and completely cuts your tubes out, removing both of them entirely. There were three small incisions made in my abdomen. Two on the lower right and left side, and one on the upper left side. The purpose of this compared to just getting them tied, is to reduce your chances of ovarian cancer.
The procedure in total took about an hour to an hour and a half, while I was out completely under, and it took me another hour to just wake up, and boy did I wake up. I absolutely hate surgery and anesthesia. I’ve had a total of seven in my lifetime, starting with getting tubes in my ears at 2 years old, and my past five ones being in the span of 2 years. So waking up, is never a fun experience.
In recovery, I was given three doses of fentanyl, and some norco, which norco does NOT work on me, so they prescribed me percocet instead. I waited in recovery with my husband for about an hour or so until I finally felt ready to go home. So it’s just an outpatient procedure, which is awesome because I’ll pass on the overnight stay in the hospital. The recovery time is up to six weeks and I was told that it will be difficult to walk for the next three days. Being as I just had this surgery TODAY, I can tell ya, this shit is PAINFUL. I also have a really low pain tolerance, and the air from them inflating my stomach, that went up into my shoulders, hurts like HELL and the only way to get it out is to walk around which will cause you to burp. But um, hello, how the hell do I walk around when I’m in this much pain? Because seriously, It’s almost 3 am and I’m still up, in pain, trying to keep my mind off of it by writing this post.
So here’s some info on getting your tubes tied. When getting tubes tied (tubal ligation), there are a few ways this can be done. And only 1 in 200 women get pregnant after this procedure. Tubal ligation — also known as having your tubes tied or tubal sterilization — is a type of permanent birth control. During tubal ligation, the fallopian tubes are cut, tied or blocked to permanently prevent pregnancy Tubal ligation prevents an egg from traveling from the ovaries through the fallopian tubes and blocks sperm from traveling up the fallopian tubes to the egg. The procedure doesn’t affect your menstrual cycle. https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/tubal-ligation/about/pac-20388360
The hardest part of all this, is truly knowing I will not have any more kids. And it’s harder knowing the reason I can’t is because of my body for the most part. But everything happens for a reason, and as I said before, there are so many children and babies in foster care and available for adoption, that they deserve a chance. They deserve a life or some sort of normalcy. So here’s to a future of adopting!
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